grief is something im rather familiar with. i lost someone real close to me, my father. he was my best friend. i was a proper little daddy's girl, even tho i was a terror. i was 12 when he died and i was never the same person since. not blaming my father's death for my aggression and depression and stuff but it was one of the causes. i still think of my dad today and wonder what he thinks of me now that im grown up, not happy but put on a front, thats all i am, front. i have these barriers that block me outta people. if i dnt let anyone in, i cant get hurt, but im a loving person. i like hearing other peoples problems than sit down and face mine, is that silly? i still kinda havent come to terms with it, i know its been nearly 7 yrs, and people told me it gets easier as u get older but what complete and utter bollocks, if someone brings u up for 12 years of ur life and ur close to that person, then they die, ur faced with not being able to ever see them again, not ever. not their smile, cant hear their laugh, not hold their hand, not play footie in the park, nothing. how can it get easier, i find it gets harder, maybe i have trouble grieving im not sure. i did cry but ive not really let it all out. before my dad died, i never told him how much i love him and that he will always be my bestest friend, wish i could tell him and he hear me. :'(