im soo gutted england are out of da world cup, i felt like crying, it was such a real tense moment as the penalty shootouts were being taken, and unfortanutly portugal shot 3 in the net and well we only got 1.

i had a really good night last night, i had a laugh and i let myself go for once and let myself and my personality shine more. i blazed a few zoots so i was like real mashed and i was just being myself. i know people say that cannibis is addictive but i disagree i dnt think the drug is addictive, but the buzz. its all about the buzz you get, the reasons why i smoke cannibis
1, i relax more
2, it makes me happy
3, it changes my mood
4, makes me horny sometimes
5, helps me sleep
6, helps block out annoying people
7, makes me laugh
8, makes me tell bare jokes
9, come out with random things
10, makes people see the real me

they're my reasons for smoking, the only downfall is waking up da next morning feeling rough as shit like i am today i wouldnt advise anyone to do it but if you wana do it then do it, like everyone experiments with everything to do with life like sex etc. anyway think i best go, im proper giving it into ur earpieces now huh lolD

everyone i know that has either got married or getting married think about big flowers, loud heart felt music, massive church, big party and all that. people watching the bride walk down the aisle in a white wedding dress that resembles a meringue. why do people do dat? i mean why do people feel the need to get married just to prove to someone you love them, but then again marriage aint exactly proof is it, i mean both men and women have affairs so them vows they said to each other at the alter dissapear like they were never there. all i know is, is that if i ever get married which is very unlikely id do it at a registry office or i would just change my name by depol, alot easier and less fuss. less is more so they say aint it

have you ever been close to someone and they went away
and you walk around just wishing they'd have stayed
have you ever felt so close you thought it was love
and everytime you saw them it was heavens above
have you ever loved someone so much that you felt whole
and they knew inside and out the deph of your heart and soul
have you ever felt like you was gonna curl up and die
coz everyone believed this love thing was a lie
have you ever looked to your heart and found it was bruised
through all the times youve been hurt and used
have you ever felt ecstasy whilst having sex
then you find thats all they wanted and its left you vexed
have you ever felt like youve lost all your dreams
coz someone came along and drained all your streams
have you ever felt that your whole life has been for nothing
from when nasty people tell you that you'll never be something
have you ever felt like you've lost your best friend
when they moved away, left you feeling its the end
have you ever felt that you was well past your sell by date
from all the feelings of that crazy thing called hate
have you ever felt like you have absolutely nothing to live for
when nobody gave a fuck wheather you walked out da front door
have you ever felt nobody gave a fuck full stop
and they'll only care when you take that 800ft drop
have you ever wished that you should never have been born
coz all your life your heart carries on getting torn
have you ever felt that people ppush you to one side
because you cant find the words to explain how you feel inside
have you ever felt that you was the most hated girl
because not now not ever will you be able to fit in this fucked up world
have you ever felt you dont belong and you dunno what to do
coz all you want is for someone to mean it when they say i love you

im a girl, who lives on both sides of the fence so therefore im bi-sexual, sexuality leads to alot of confusion. i was a little confused but i always knew i liked girls as well as boys, i never told anybody coz i was scared they would laugh and i wernt having people takin the piss outta me, so i fought it long and hard, but thought there is no point in keepin on fighting it, i am what i am.
the first time i ever had sexual encounters with a girl, i was really nervous, i knew what to do but i kept thinking am i good enough?, is she enjoying it? i must say though, before i had my encounter i was quite scared and ok im admitting it, i was scared of going down on a girl. my fears neednt of been coz i liked it. i loved the thought of pleasuring a woman damn site better than the thought of pleasuring a man. now im a little older and i still love my girls and my boys. xxxxx

i wana take the time to stick up for some londoners out there who get looked at funny, cussed hardcore and not stick up for themselves, some of us get bullied coz others think we are bullies by thinking we are racist. london is da most multi-cultural city in england, for example we have indians, asians, chinese, irish, scottish, welsh, greek, italian, turkish, curdish, somalian etc. you namer it we have it. i aint got nuttin against any one coz im too nice a person, but i do have my principles and my understandings that, all other ethnicity should take into account what the country has done and provided for them, but no they still not satisfied, we busted our balls, to get work, and to set up religious things for them ie: churches and stuff, but they come over all ungrateful. if we went to another country, would they bust their balls in getting a christian, catholic etc churches, no they wouldnt. thats my explaining done bout not all londoners being racist. xx

grief is something im rather familiar with. i lost someone real close to me, my father. he was my best friend. i was a proper little daddy's girl, even tho i was a terror. i was 12 when he died and i was never the same person since. not blaming my father's death for my aggression and depression and stuff but it was one of the causes. i still think of my dad today and wonder what he thinks of me now that im grown up, not happy but put on a front, thats all i am, front. i have these barriers that block me outta people. if i dnt let anyone in, i cant get hurt, but im a loving person. i like hearing other peoples problems than sit down and face mine, is that silly? i still kinda havent come to terms with it, i know its been nearly 7 yrs, and people told me it gets easier as u get older but what complete and utter bollocks, if someone brings u up for 12 years of ur life and ur close to that person, then they die, ur faced with not being able to ever see them again, not ever. not their smile, cant hear their laugh, not hold their hand, not play footie in the park, nothing. how can it get easier, i find it gets harder, maybe i have trouble grieving im not sure. i did cry but ive not really let it all out. before my dad died, i never told him how much i love him and that he will always be my bestest friend, wish i could tell him and he hear me.

god save our gracious queen,
long live our noble queen,
god save the queen
send her victorious
happy and glorious
long to rain over us god save the queen.
we fucking done it, beat yet another
we have faith in our men
england will show germany who's cup that is by playing the best they can and doing it for their country.
CMON ENGLAND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, im cuting down on my fags today, only coz i have to, well no backa (tobacco) bare rizlas and a lighter running on air, wot a perfect day, i had to roll up some doggies at home coz u no how desperate measures go and lucky for me there are quite a few doggies coz i was rolling up my fag wen a mouse ran acros my floor, made me jump and hey presto tobacco all over the carpet, i felt like crying and in the end i did, but crying didnt do much help so i rolled another fag and smoked that, still didnt feel better, so made a coffee with no sugar yuk!!!! gotta have 3 sugs in da coffee, oh i forgot to tell u, yes i have mice, have had them for ages, they bit a hole in the carpet and did live in the floorboards, so as i said no fags, no sugar at home and got mice and to top it off aint had no sleep, them FUCKING MICE KEEP ME AWAKE AT NIGHT, I CANT SLEEP. I NEED SLEEP! IM GOING FUCKING MAD!!!!!

im drowning in a flood of my own tears
reminising bout da been and past years
people tell ya move on and forget
easier sed than done, easy to talk wet.
i feel like im in ireland trying a find a four leaf clover
my eyes wide open, and feel there lifes almost over
ya no i feel so incomplete
feel relieved when i feel my heartbeat
sometimes people dont care bout anything
but i care bout everyone and everything ive seen
maybe one day il crawl out of dis numbness in pain
and search for dat girl i no i can be again